yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
