I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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