I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
