I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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