We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
