a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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