Screwed.edu
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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