oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize