No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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