Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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