remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The best revenge is premature balding
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
