you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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