He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
