He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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