i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up under a house in Key West
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