He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
