I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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