just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ladies don't puke and tell
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
