Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
