So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
