ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
