so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
