Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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