party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
