why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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