i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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