cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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