talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
