I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
