You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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