fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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