apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
