didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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