Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
