Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
