it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
