my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
