I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
