I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
