every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
