Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize