You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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