I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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