I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize