I could make wine with my vomit
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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