I cockslap morals
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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