do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
