I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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