Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
