living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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