I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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