you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
