Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
