Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
