You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize