Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
youre lurking in front of me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
