fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
