Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
