She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
