i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
